Wednesday, June 19, 2013

One boy’s dairy

One boy’s dairy

10th grade….

As I sat there in the English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called best friend’. I stared at her long silky hair, and wished she was mine, but she didn’t notice me like that. And I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before. I handed them to her. Then, I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be friends, I love her but I’m just too shy. And I don’t know why.

11th grade….

The phone rang on the other end, it was her, she was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart, she asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat to next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, after 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go home…she looked at me, said “thanks’ and gave me a kiss on the cheek…I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why, I loved her so much, but I just can’t say it. I always think the word “Shy” by the time I see her.

Senior year…

One fine day she walked to my locker, “my date is sick’ she said “he’s not gonna go’ well, I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates we would go together just as best friends’. So we did, that night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step, I stared at her as she smiled at me, and stared at me with her crystal eyes, then she said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek, I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I loved her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Graduation…

A day passed, then a week then a month. Before, I could blink. It was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel, up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine-but she didn’t notice me like that. And I knew it. Before everyone she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said “You are my best friend, Thanks”  and gave me a kiss , I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy,  and I don’t know why.

Marriage…

I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. And drive off to her new life, married to another man… I want to tell her, I want her to know, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Death…

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my best friend. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years,

this is what it reads,

“I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why, I wish he would tell me he loved me!!! I wish I did too...” I thought myself, and cried”.

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